Monday, June 01, 2009

Church Bulletins - Summer 2008 Release

They're  Back! Those Wonderful Church  Bulletins!      Thank God for church   ladies with typewriters.  These sentences actually  appeared in church   bulletins or were announced in church  services  (Summer, 2008  Release).  
  •   The Prayer &  Fasting Conference includes meals.     
  •  The sermon this morning:  'Jesus Walks on Water.'  The sermon tonight:  'Searching for Jesus.'   
  •  Our youth basketball team  is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.   Come out and watch us  kill Christ the  King.     
  •   Ladies, don't forget the  rummage  sale.  It's a chance to get rid  of those things not worth keeping around the house.   Bring your  husbands.   
  •  The peacemaking  meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a  conflict.  
  • Remember in  prayer the many who are sick of our community.   Smile at someone  who is hard to love.  Say 'Hell' to  someone who doesn't care much about you.    
  • Don't let worry kill you  off - let the Church help.     
  •  Miss Charlene  Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious  pleasure to the congregation.  
  •  For  those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a  nursery downstairs.   
  •  The  Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir  will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'     
  •  Irving Benson   and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.   So ends a friendship that  began in their school days.      
  • Eight new choir robes  are currently needed due to the addition of several new  members, and to the deterioration of some older ones.      
  • Scouts are saving  aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.   Proceeds will be used to  cripple children.   
  •   Please place your donation  in the envelope along with the deceased person you want  remembered.  
  •    The church will  host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and  gracious hostility.   
  • Potluck supper Sunday at  5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.   
  •  The ladies of the Church  have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the  basement on Friday afternoon.   
  •  This evening at 7 PM there  will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.   Bring a blanket and come  prepared to sin.     
  •  Ladies Bible Study  will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to  lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.    
  • The pastor  would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would  lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next  Sunday.   
  • Low Self Esteem  Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.    
  • The  eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the  Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation  is invited to attend this tragedy.     
  •  Weight  Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian  Church.  Please use large double  door at the side entrance.   
  • The  Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing  campaigns logan:   Last Sunday: ''I Upped My  Pledge - Up Yours'   

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